I really love Valentine's Day. I made sure Amirah wore a pink outfit from head to toe. Then I wore heart socks and a Valentine's pin one of my students gave me.
We had a party at school this afternoon with lots of treats- Hershey kisses, cupcakes, Rice Krispy treats, etc. We decorated Valentine holders and wrote compliments to everyone in the class.
Ysmaille and I had already decided that we wouldn't go out tonight, but order curbside to go from some restaurant and bring it home. That way we could be comfy and not have to find a babysitter for the peanut. I came home to the traditional card and a box of chocolates, all the while looking forward to a meal that I wouldn't have to cook and dishes I wouldn't have to clean.
Then things broke down. Why do I have to be so dramatic? By the time we got Amirah fed it was 6:30 and Ysmaille no longer felt like going out. I asked him if he wanted me to get food and he did. From Burger King. Burger King. Really? Fine. I'll get you what you want, but I won't do it without drama! I cried all the way there. Then I realized that this was silly. After all, I did volunteer. When I brought the said burger home he thought I was going to get something for myself and felt too bad to eat it if I wasn't eating anything. I was in tears again. The cycle goes on and on... I know it's totally ridiculous.
Valentine's Day is a beautiful, wonderful day. I will always celebrate it. But it is just one day. So our day wasn't romantic. It's true. Ysmaille ate a burger and cold fries while I moped around for half an hour. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I really do have a wonderful husband. He is the one who got up last night in the middle of night because Amirah was coughing and couldn't sleep. He is the one who after all this evening's drama offered to go out and buy me dinner. He is also the one who is upstairs giving Amirah a bath as I sit here. And tonight he will let me watch "The Bachelor" without complaint. If that isn't romance I don't know what is :)
oh, girl. i am right there with you. i wonder if you read my blog from yesterday? ugh.
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I felt that way at Christmas. I imagined it to be a blissful day of happily entertained children while Eric & I danced merrily around the tree proclaiming our love for each other and Chist's birth........It was NOT how our day went and I couldn't help but be bitter and disappointed. I eventually got myself together and enjoyed some of the day. It's a tough spot where expectations and reality meet. I guess I just need to appreciate the beautiful unplanned moments of everyday reality and stop expecting so much from commercialized holidays.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty rocks! About a week ago I had a stretch of such days. . . It could be blamed on lots of different things, but in the end prayer and tears (usually together) make a person feel refreshed. I just couldn't let go of the chip on my shoulder! Releasing is so refreshing. Glad to rejoice again on the other side.
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