Summer-- Was it all I wanted it to be?

It's hard to believe that summer is quickly fading away... It has been filled with beautiful moments.

One of my goals was to be domestic-- I did grow several plants; froze corn, strawberries, and blueberries; made strawberry jam; made homemade yogurt; baked cinnamon rolls, muffins, and cookies. I have yet to make a loaf of yeast bread or make laundry detergent. There's still time left...

Another goal was to spend time with my Creator. I am happy to report that my most noble goal has been met. I have had lots of time to know Him better and He is doing a work in me that is not over yet!

I also intended to get in shape. Haven't totally reached this goal, but I am making progress. I've done lots of strollercise sessions and Ysmaille has been helping me lift weights. It's a never ending process.

Most importantly I have spent lots of time with my baby girl. This summer has been full of milestones-- her first airplane ride, sitting up by herself, her first tooth, rolling over, etc. It has been such a precious summer!

Sleeping Through the Night

I am embarassed that this is happening to me. I am so struggling with feelings of failure as a mom. In general I think I am a great mom, but I just can't seem to help Amirah sleep through the night.

-- I just wrote a long, detailed paragraph about our ups and downs of sleeping through the night, but it got too boring so I'll just sum it up: She can do it. Her sleeping patterns have been poor all summer long. I am tired and sad. --

Two nights ago she woke up at 3:30 and I instinctively went over and fed her. Halfway through nursing I thought "Why am I doing this? We were making progress." Last night she woke up at 11:30 and my brother-in-law and his wife were here so Ysmaille and his brother went up to comfort her. After about 10 minutes she fell back asleep. At 3:30 she was up again. I tried letting her cry it out, but after 45 minutes or so I gave in and nursed her. I didn't want to make Dukens and Angela suffer because they had to drive to Tennessee today.

Tonight we start OPERATION: SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. In typical style I've created a spreadsheet to help us. It lists the days, the time she starts crying, and the time she stops crying. At the bottom it has the rules: NO paci, NO nursing, etc! Then is the best part: a reminder that my MOTHERLY INSTINCTS ARE GOD-GIVEN and I can do this!

Taking it Easy

Last week, with the new-felt freedom of summer, I think I might have taken it a little far... Amirah and I packed so much into four days our heads were spinning. We had several playdates, ran errands, took a stollercising class, played outside under the oak tree, and in the midst of all that took a few naps.

This week I am trying to give her more of a schedule. So far today we've only been out for stollercising and we are spending the rest of the day relaxing around the house. She is sleeping now and I really want to nap (despite the fact I've already taken one nap today). Summer just fills my soul!

I am also trying my hand at making homemade yogurt again. Tomorrow I want to make Sabrina's garbanzo bean cake. It sounds so interesting I can't help but try it.

On Thursday we leave for Florida to spend several days with the Burch's (Ysmaille's American parents). We are looking forward to having Amirah meet the other side of her family. Already I'm overwhelmed with what travelling with a baby means. How many diapers should I bring? Should I bring toys for the airplane ride? Do I bring my breast pump or not? No more just picking up and leaving. Each trip (even a trip to the grocery store) becomes more calculated.

I think I've made up my mind about that nap. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

A Matter of Perspective

Life is mostly about your perspective.

When Ysmaille and I argue about something and I feel so angry and hurt inside, at the same time I am so grateful that I have a husband and I know in the secret places of my heart that this too shall pass and we'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.

When I've had a difficult day at work and it's so hard to feel like I am really making a difference. When I feel like I've blown it because I've yelled or been impatient, at the same time I remember the note that I got that morning that said, "Mrs. Eliacin, your the best teacher ever!" and I know that I AM making a difference.

When Amirah is crying for no apparant reason. When she has been fed, and cleaned, and kissed, and cuddled, and still insists on crying and I feel like crying too because I just don't know what to do, at the same time I am so thankful for her and know that nothing is more fulfilling than knowing that I am her mom and she is perfect!

When I feel overwhelmed by all that has to get done in a day-- report cards, laundry, making dinner, teacher conferences, grocery shopping, cleaning... At the same time I am grateful for my health that allows me to get so much done in a day.

Life is a matter of perspective.

Two and a half months to a better me...

Ever feel like you just aren't living up to your potential? I'm there right now. Being a full-time teacher and a new mom has been both delightful and challenging at the same time and I know that I have let parts of me fade away. This summer I am going to find those pieces of me that have been lurking in the shadows of my busy life.

I have come to terms with the fact that I can't do it all. And I'm okay with that. But with summer coming I know I can do more because I don't have the stress of working. I am already so excited to report that I have achieved one of the items on my "bucket list". I have a pumpkin, a tomato, a pepper, oregeno, basil, and mint thriving in my back yard. It's a small start, but I feel so domestic. On my list of domestic hopefuls is making homemade yogurt again, trying my hand once more at making laundry detergent, finding even more coupon bargains, and baking at least one loaf of bread.

I am also really excited to rekindle my times with God. I am sad to say that I have often let my head hit the pillow without really setting time aside for my Creator-- the lover of my soul. I have felt Him by my side as I tackle what it means to be a mom, a teacher, a wife, a friend, a daughter... I want this summer to cement the things I've already learned about who He is and how He operates.

The goal that will be hardest for me to achieve is getting back in shape. Right before I became pregnant I was beginning to jog-- only short distances at a time-- but jogging none-the-less. I really want to start lifting weights and jogging. I am starting tonight. Ysmaille is waiting in the basement for me to start my first night of training. Here I go. Wish me luck.

Here's to my potential and the new and improved Melanie!

Summer Dreamin'

I am really trying hard to relish each day, but I have to admit I can hardly wait until school is out and I can revel in the freedom that is summer. Despite the stress of this particular job I don't know of any other job where you can work 9.5 months of the year and get paid for 12. (Although anyone who is a teacher or is married to one knows that we spend hours in our classrooms even during the summer months). I am more thankful than ever for summer vacation.


I can't wait to really get to know my baby girl. I know a lot already: she hates tummy time, although she is now able to lift her head 90 degrees; she loves to chew on everything (her fingers, my hair, car seat straps...); she knows when she is hungry and lets everyone around her know it as well. I have some burning questions of my own though: How long will she sleep in if I don't wake her up at 7:00? If I am home all day will she take a morning, afternoon, and evening nap? Will she be okay eating every four hours instead of three? She is surrounded by people who love her all day long-- Aunt Angela and Natalie, Grammy and Monica, Mommy, and Daddy, but she doesn't have a ton of consistency. I'm so anxious to give her that.




Here are our summer plans:


- Go to school once a week to work in Mommy's classroom.


- Go to the pool


- Play with Natalie and Aunt Angela


- Visit Pappy and Nana Burch in Florida


- Lots of kissing and cuddling


- Strollercising so Mommy can get back in shape

Amirah eating rice cereal for the first time. Another thing we'll need to work on this summer!

My "Bucket List"

After being inspired by my good friend, Erin I have decided to create my own "bucket list."

Here it goes (in no apparent order)...

1. Grow my own vegetables and freeze/can them. My plan is to grow tomotoes and peppers this summer. I am also hoping to freeze corn, strawberry jelly, and applesauce.

2. Travel to South America.

3. I have always wanted to bungee jump before I turned 30, but that is only a month away and seeing as I have a 2 month old at home it doesn't seem like the wisest idea, so I am now chaning that dream to riding in a hot air balloon.

4. Make an office in a closet. They show these all the time in decorating and organizing magazines and I really want to try it.

5. Make a canopy for my bed. Before I do this I want to buy a new bed, as we are sleeping on the same mattress I've had since middle school.

6. Weigh 130 lbs. Right now this seems harder than all the above put together.

7. Finish the book I started this winter. I know this sounds like an easy accomplishment, but it seems that when I have any down time I just want to read magazines because it's less of a committment.

8. Go to Paris. I know it's overrated, but I want to see it for myself. Plus, having a husband that speaks French makes it seem a little more doable.

9. Sleep through the night.

10. Buy $100 worth of groceries for $25 or less.

That sums it up. Some are more attainable than others. I'll let you know how it goes...