Making a Difference!

Six days in and things are going pretty well. I am determined that this year be different. I've always been a good teacher, but this year I want to make sure I am doing more than affecting their minds. I want to also affect their hearts.

It's going to be interesting. I have two students who can't spell their last names, a student who has been out performing third graders since first grade, a child who has peed his/her pants, several students with attention difficulties, etc.

In the midst of all the craziness their are 26 students who come to school everyday and whether or not they now it or not-- they need me!

A Fresh Start

I often start our writing paragraphs, only to erase them because I find I just like lists better.

Why I love my job:
1. Each year is a fresh start. I get to learn from last year's mistakes and move on.
2. I get to be creative.
3. I love the people I work with.
4. I am affecting destiny!
5. The hours are great (despite having to take things home to work on.)

Today at church Mark prayed for teachers and one of the things he said really stuck out to me. He said that it doesn't matter how you start; it matters how you finish. In other words, the fact that all my name tags aren't labeled doesn't really matter that much. What matters is at the end of the year I have spoken life into my students and have made them more prepared for life!

Summer-- Was it all I wanted it to be?

It's hard to believe that summer is quickly fading away... It has been filled with beautiful moments.

One of my goals was to be domestic-- I did grow several plants; froze corn, strawberries, and blueberries; made strawberry jam; made homemade yogurt; baked cinnamon rolls, muffins, and cookies. I have yet to make a loaf of yeast bread or make laundry detergent. There's still time left...

Another goal was to spend time with my Creator. I am happy to report that my most noble goal has been met. I have had lots of time to know Him better and He is doing a work in me that is not over yet!

I also intended to get in shape. Haven't totally reached this goal, but I am making progress. I've done lots of strollercise sessions and Ysmaille has been helping me lift weights. It's a never ending process.

Most importantly I have spent lots of time with my baby girl. This summer has been full of milestones-- her first airplane ride, sitting up by herself, her first tooth, rolling over, etc. It has been such a precious summer!

Sleeping Through the Night

I am embarassed that this is happening to me. I am so struggling with feelings of failure as a mom. In general I think I am a great mom, but I just can't seem to help Amirah sleep through the night.

-- I just wrote a long, detailed paragraph about our ups and downs of sleeping through the night, but it got too boring so I'll just sum it up: She can do it. Her sleeping patterns have been poor all summer long. I am tired and sad. --

Two nights ago she woke up at 3:30 and I instinctively went over and fed her. Halfway through nursing I thought "Why am I doing this? We were making progress." Last night she woke up at 11:30 and my brother-in-law and his wife were here so Ysmaille and his brother went up to comfort her. After about 10 minutes she fell back asleep. At 3:30 she was up again. I tried letting her cry it out, but after 45 minutes or so I gave in and nursed her. I didn't want to make Dukens and Angela suffer because they had to drive to Tennessee today.

Tonight we start OPERATION: SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. In typical style I've created a spreadsheet to help us. It lists the days, the time she starts crying, and the time she stops crying. At the bottom it has the rules: NO paci, NO nursing, etc! Then is the best part: a reminder that my MOTHERLY INSTINCTS ARE GOD-GIVEN and I can do this!

Taking it Easy

Last week, with the new-felt freedom of summer, I think I might have taken it a little far... Amirah and I packed so much into four days our heads were spinning. We had several playdates, ran errands, took a stollercising class, played outside under the oak tree, and in the midst of all that took a few naps.

This week I am trying to give her more of a schedule. So far today we've only been out for stollercising and we are spending the rest of the day relaxing around the house. She is sleeping now and I really want to nap (despite the fact I've already taken one nap today). Summer just fills my soul!

I am also trying my hand at making homemade yogurt again. Tomorrow I want to make Sabrina's garbanzo bean cake. It sounds so interesting I can't help but try it.

On Thursday we leave for Florida to spend several days with the Burch's (Ysmaille's American parents). We are looking forward to having Amirah meet the other side of her family. Already I'm overwhelmed with what travelling with a baby means. How many diapers should I bring? Should I bring toys for the airplane ride? Do I bring my breast pump or not? No more just picking up and leaving. Each trip (even a trip to the grocery store) becomes more calculated.

I think I've made up my mind about that nap. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

A Matter of Perspective

Life is mostly about your perspective.

When Ysmaille and I argue about something and I feel so angry and hurt inside, at the same time I am so grateful that I have a husband and I know in the secret places of my heart that this too shall pass and we'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.

When I've had a difficult day at work and it's so hard to feel like I am really making a difference. When I feel like I've blown it because I've yelled or been impatient, at the same time I remember the note that I got that morning that said, "Mrs. Eliacin, your the best teacher ever!" and I know that I AM making a difference.

When Amirah is crying for no apparant reason. When she has been fed, and cleaned, and kissed, and cuddled, and still insists on crying and I feel like crying too because I just don't know what to do, at the same time I am so thankful for her and know that nothing is more fulfilling than knowing that I am her mom and she is perfect!

When I feel overwhelmed by all that has to get done in a day-- report cards, laundry, making dinner, teacher conferences, grocery shopping, cleaning... At the same time I am grateful for my health that allows me to get so much done in a day.

Life is a matter of perspective.

Two and a half months to a better me...

Ever feel like you just aren't living up to your potential? I'm there right now. Being a full-time teacher and a new mom has been both delightful and challenging at the same time and I know that I have let parts of me fade away. This summer I am going to find those pieces of me that have been lurking in the shadows of my busy life.

I have come to terms with the fact that I can't do it all. And I'm okay with that. But with summer coming I know I can do more because I don't have the stress of working. I am already so excited to report that I have achieved one of the items on my "bucket list". I have a pumpkin, a tomato, a pepper, oregeno, basil, and mint thriving in my back yard. It's a small start, but I feel so domestic. On my list of domestic hopefuls is making homemade yogurt again, trying my hand once more at making laundry detergent, finding even more coupon bargains, and baking at least one loaf of bread.

I am also really excited to rekindle my times with God. I am sad to say that I have often let my head hit the pillow without really setting time aside for my Creator-- the lover of my soul. I have felt Him by my side as I tackle what it means to be a mom, a teacher, a wife, a friend, a daughter... I want this summer to cement the things I've already learned about who He is and how He operates.

The goal that will be hardest for me to achieve is getting back in shape. Right before I became pregnant I was beginning to jog-- only short distances at a time-- but jogging none-the-less. I really want to start lifting weights and jogging. I am starting tonight. Ysmaille is waiting in the basement for me to start my first night of training. Here I go. Wish me luck.

Here's to my potential and the new and improved Melanie!