My "Bucket List"

After being inspired by my good friend, Erin I have decided to create my own "bucket list."

Here it goes (in no apparent order)...

1. Grow my own vegetables and freeze/can them. My plan is to grow tomotoes and peppers this summer. I am also hoping to freeze corn, strawberry jelly, and applesauce.

2. Travel to South America.

3. I have always wanted to bungee jump before I turned 30, but that is only a month away and seeing as I have a 2 month old at home it doesn't seem like the wisest idea, so I am now chaning that dream to riding in a hot air balloon.

4. Make an office in a closet. They show these all the time in decorating and organizing magazines and I really want to try it.

5. Make a canopy for my bed. Before I do this I want to buy a new bed, as we are sleeping on the same mattress I've had since middle school.

6. Weigh 130 lbs. Right now this seems harder than all the above put together.

7. Finish the book I started this winter. I know this sounds like an easy accomplishment, but it seems that when I have any down time I just want to read magazines because it's less of a committment.

8. Go to Paris. I know it's overrated, but I want to see it for myself. Plus, having a husband that speaks French makes it seem a little more doable.

9. Sleep through the night.

10. Buy $100 worth of groceries for $25 or less.

That sums it up. Some are more attainable than others. I'll let you know how it goes...

My "Relaxing" Massage...

For my graduation present Mom and Dad gave me a gift certificate to Warm Springs Day Spa. That was all the way back in May and I just never got around to using it. It was one of things where you know if you use it you won't have that luxury again for awhile so you just want to save it. Last week I made an appointment for Saturday. I thought I could use a little pampering before returning to school.

At 2:47 my massage began and it was glorious! About 10 minutes into I suddently thought, "Oh no! I have no idea when I last shaved." With having a newborn at home, shaving somehow didn't make it the top of my to-do list. I figured it probably hadn't been more than 2 or 3 days, and that probably wasn't the worst they've seen.

I was able to relax until I thought, "Oh no! I am going to have to turn over and she is going to see that I buy my underwear in packs of five at Target." How embarassing.

As I turned face down and put my head in the hole I willed myself not to drool. For some reason I've been a drooling machine lately. In fact, the other day I took a nap with my adorable baby girl and she woke up with drool on her face. Not hers. Mine! What kind of a mother am I?

I was able to control my drooling, but then another terrible thought crossed my mind... What happens if my breasts start to leak? After all I haven't laid on my stomache in almost a year. First because I was pregnant, and now because breastfeeding has taken over my life.

The next thing you know the massage therapist said, "Okay, Melanie. Thank you. Take your time getting dressed and I'll meet you in the hall." Wait! It's over already? I looked at the clock and sure enough... it was 3:37. Fifty minutes had passed. I think next time I'll use my certificate to get a pedicure. So much less to worry about.

Our Sweet Baby Girl

Nothing could have prepared me for this love I have for Amirah. I love her with a fierce love-- a love different from how I love Ysmaille. I know it is my job to protect her, to intercede for her, to love her unconditionally. Each morning when I pick her up out of her crib my heart melts like I am seeing her for the first time. When she stretches and makes her screeching noise I have to stop what I'm doing just to pick her up and snuggle. It's an impulse I am unable to control. At least once a day I look at Ysmaille and marvel to him about absolutely perfect our little girl is.

When I think about going back to work I am so conflicted. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can still be a great mom and work full-time, but it is hard to think of someone else seeing her firsts-- first giggle, first roll-over, first steps. I keep thinking that God knows how important that is to me and maybe he'll reserve those moments for a time when I am with her. Whether to stay at home or not is a choice that every mom must make. This was the choice I made and it is the right one for our family. One thing for sure, I will treasure every moment I have with my little princess.

My greatest prayer for her life is that she knows who she is at a young age. Although I want her to be proud of her earthly heritage-- part American, part Haitian, it is even more important to me that she know her place in the Kingdom. I pray daily that she won't have to go through the same struggles as Ysmaille and I did. I want her to be confident in who she is as a child of the Most High. One of the reasons we chose the name Amirah is because it means princess, for she is truly a child of the King!

39 weeks and counting...

Last Thursday the midwife at Keystone told me that I could go anytime. I was 2 cm. dilated and 70% effaced. For those who think that information is TMI please do not ready on, because it only gets worse from here on out. My parents planned a trip to Virginia for that weekend and were nervous to go because it seemed like I could go into labor that weekend. Friday at school I was miserable. I was having Braxton Hicks and my back hurt. Saturday night I lost my mucous plug (I warned you about TMI, didn't I?). I knew labor was imminent by that point and my parents considered cutting their trip early, but I wasn't having any contractions, so they stayed. Well, that was 9 days ago and here I sit. I am now nearly 3 cm. dilated, fully effaced with membranes stripped and still.... nothing!

My bags are packed, my lesson plans are completed, my house is clean (relatively). I am ready. My arms are aching to hold the beautiful baby girl that I have carried in my womb for nine months. We have read to her, sang to her, prayed destiny over her, and now just want to hold her in our arms. The waiting seems so long. The unknown so exciting. Who will she look like? How much will she weigh? Will she have hair? Will her skin be the color of mocha?

Until she decides it is her time, I wait (impatiently) for Amirah to make her presence known. I love you, baby girl!

Thanksgiving Break

I can't believe it's the week of Thanksgiving! I can't even tell you how excited I am to have six (yes, six!) days off in a row. This has been a hectic school year so far and I really need the break. I am planning to spend hours on my favorite pasttime-- puttering. I just love puttering around the house: cleaning, organizing, watching TV, reading magazines, decorating, etc. So fun!

I am also so excited for Christmas! Last night I got out the Christmas decorations. I couldn't resist. As soon as I'm done posting this I am changing into my pj's, lighting a candle, putting in the Christmas music, and putting up my Christmas decorations. Love it! (Secretly, this also my way of avoiding the papers in the corner that should be graded tonight). We are getting our tree on Friday, so then I can finalize the decorations. I guess I'll have to post pictures once I have everything in it's place.

Also, with the arrival of Thanksgiving and Christmas means my due date is right around the corner. January 30 will be here before you know it! My goal was to have the nursery finished by Thanksgiving and I have successfully met that goal. (I guess I should post pictures of that, too) We are so excited for our baby girl to arrive.

Looking Back and Moving Forward....

I've had some "highlights" over the several weeks. Here are the highlights:

• Making applesauce with the help of Mom and Dad. (Really they did most of the work).
• Attending a prophetic conference at World Harvest.
• Having our 2nd ultrasound and hearing the news that Amirah is a healthy baby girl.

With all the busyness of my life I often find it hard to sit down and relax, but I know that I need to treasure each moment. Here is my list of things I'm looking forward to in the next several weeks...

• Reading "Breaking Dawn"-- the fourth book of the Twilight series. I never thought I'd read a series like this, but these books are so entertaining and I love an easy read that I don't have to think about.
• Going to Shepherdstown next week (tentative)
• Making yogurt in the microwave-- I've been wanting to do this for weeks now...

Pregnancy

A new beginning....
When we took that pregnancy test a few short months ago Ysmaille and I just looked at each other with expressions that could only be interpreted as "Now what?" Our life is already slowly beginning to change. I have had a great pregnancy and feel really blessed that my biggest pregnancy concern is "What should I wear today?" I am certainly more tired and more emotional than usual (Ysmaille can attest to that), but feel energized and ready to take on this new challenge.

The journey continues...

Our nursery has slowly transformed from an office to a nursery, but so much has been waiting on finding out the gender of our little peanut (who, by the way, is now the size of a mango according to thebump.com). It's funny how opinionated people are on this topic. I, for one, would never even consider being surprised at the end. I like my surprises early. However, I know many people who have the opposite stance. I just know that I am a huge organizer and planner and not to know would just kill me.
Boy or girl?
Even before I was pregnant I had a dream about a beautiful daughter with curly hair (see one of my first posts). When we first found out we were pregnant I wanted a girl so badly, but as I thought about how nice it would be for Ysmaille to have a son I became convinved that we were having a boy and I was really getting excited about the idea. Several weeks ago I had a dream that we were having a boy, and that confirmed what I was already feeling. Last night, the dream changed again, and we had a daughter. Our ultrasound was scheduled for this morning at 7:00 and when Ysmaille and I woke up this morning we both admitted that we couldn't sleep last night because we were so excited. He told me it felt like how you feel the night before a field trip when you are kid. This morning we had our ultrasound and it was so surreal to watch our beautiful baby move around. The baby had his legs crossed and I was so nervous that he wouldn't cooperate and give us some proof. After a few moments we had the proof we needed-- three lines and no extra "appendage". It's a girl! Let the shopping commence.