Nothing could have prepared me for this love I have for Amirah. I love her with a fierce love-- a love different from how I love Ysmaille. I know it is my job to protect her, to intercede for her, to love her unconditionally. Each morning when I pick her up out of her crib my heart melts like I am seeing her for the first time. When she stretches and makes her screeching noise I have to stop what I'm doing just to pick her up and snuggle. It's an impulse I am unable to control. At least once a day I look at Ysmaille and marvel to him about absolutely perfect our little girl is.
When I think about going back to work I am so conflicted. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can still be a great mom and work full-time, but it is hard to think of someone else seeing her firsts-- first giggle, first roll-over, first steps. I keep thinking that God knows how important that is to me and maybe he'll reserve those moments for a time when I am with her. Whether to stay at home or not is a choice that every mom must make. This was the choice I made and it is the right one for our family. One thing for sure, I will treasure every moment I have with my little princess.
My greatest prayer for her life is that she knows who she is at a young age. Although I want her to be proud of her earthly heritage-- part American, part Haitian, it is even more important to me that she know her place in the Kingdom. I pray daily that she won't have to go through the same struggles as Ysmaille and I did. I want her to be confident in who she is as a child of the Most High. One of the reasons we chose the name Amirah is because it means princess, for she is truly a child of the King!