I am embarassed that this is happening to me. I am so struggling with feelings of failure as a mom. In general I think I am a great mom, but I just can't seem to help Amirah sleep through the night.
-- I just wrote a long, detailed paragraph about our ups and downs of sleeping through the night, but it got too boring so I'll just sum it up: She can do it. Her sleeping patterns have been poor all summer long. I am tired and sad. --
Two nights ago she woke up at 3:30 and I instinctively went over and fed her. Halfway through nursing I thought "Why am I doing this? We were making progress." Last night she woke up at 11:30 and my brother-in-law and his wife were here so Ysmaille and his brother went up to comfort her. After about 10 minutes she fell back asleep. At 3:30 she was up again. I tried letting her cry it out, but after 45 minutes or so I gave in and nursed her. I didn't want to make Dukens and Angela suffer because they had to drive to Tennessee today.
Tonight we start OPERATION: SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. In typical style I've created a spreadsheet to help us. It lists the days, the time she starts crying, and the time she stops crying. At the bottom it has the rules: NO paci, NO nursing, etc! Then is the best part: a reminder that my MOTHERLY INSTINCTS ARE GOD-GIVEN and I can do this!
Ahhh, Mel. My heart goes out to you. Isaac also had(has) the same ups and downs. Right now we are on a "sleep through the night" streak, but I know he could still have a night or two that are not the norm. Between the two of you, you'll figure out something that works: extra cereal before bed, night "snuggle" cloth with your smell, etc. May God give the wisdom and (I'm saying this to myself as well) Please give yourself and your sweetie LOTS of grace. You are an AMAZING Mom! I aspire to be just as "with it" when school begins, as you were. So glad for your honesty and your friendship. :)
ReplyDeleteMel you are an incredible mom! I aspire to be more like you! You can definitely do this--it just might really stink for a night or four. :) Whatever routine you pick, do the exact same one for at least a week or two, every single night, within a half hour or so. Maybe April has a good point about a little cereal before bed, then maybe a warm bath, story and bed? Keep the room dim (I don't even turn on Aly's light, but we don't read to her at night at this point). You can vary a little more after that, but the routine should help her become more settled? maybe? PS) I knew I could count on you to make an excel spreadsheet for this! :) I think Felicia's first night with Solomon was 45+ minutes. He was around 6 months at the point and he woke up at 3 and cried for almost an hour. If I remember right, though, he slept until like 8 or so that next morning... At this point I change Aly into her jammies and a clean diaper, nurse her, and off to bed. I did that so long that I can do it completely wrong now and she doesn't notice--bottle feed at a friend's house and lay her on their bed or something--she cries for nanoseconds and she's out--even with the trip home in the carseat, she rouses slightly but drops right off again. Amirah is SO BLESSED that you're her mommy! She's also blessed that her mama is working so hard! You're a rockstar.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain! I remember reading somehwere that it takes between 3-5 nights of "crying it out" for a baby to learn to sleep through the night. It took Isaiah 6. I know you don't want to give her the pacifier, but maybe it Ysmille gave it to her it would work. Let's face it, they see us they see food. Keep us updated! It is frustrating, but believe it or not they do eventually get it and then you will get full nights of sleep. :)
ReplyDeletei remember grace had trouble with this whole sleeping through the night thing. we tried so many things. and really, i havent a clue what worked if anything, anymore. that was 9 years ago, haha. i dont know if it was a habit i created, if it was a bad bedtime routine, or if she really did just need something.
ReplyDeletedont stress about this. babies go through growth spurts. maybe she really is hungry. she may go through this several times. also, there is nothing wrong about comforting your baby, even if it is the middle of the night. we comfort them during the day. ive always felt that whether the sun is up, or the moon, if my kids need me, im there. so if you want to nurse her, do it.
"Two nights ago she woke up at 3:30 and I instinctively went over and fed her."
follow your instinct.