Last night I had a dream that I had just given birth to a baby girl. She was beautiful! She had gorgeous, creamy skin, wavy hair, and big brown eyes. It made my heart melt. Then before I knew it she was a toddler and her hair was a wild mess of curls. I loved it!
Does this mean I am ready to be a mother? Somedays I feel I am ready, and yet there is always a feeling of sadness when I think of giving up the life that Ysmaille and I have. I love our ability to spontaneously decide what we want to do with our day when we wake up at 9:00 on a Saturday morning. Not to mention how busy we already are. This week has been such a stressful one for us. In preparation for our cruise next week we are trying to get everything in order. We have already spent well over six hours on homework and are only about a third of the way done. Today I had to spend over two hours in my classroom (on a Saturday!) trying to get everything organized for a sub. We have literally had no free time this week. What would we do if we had a child? How do mothers do it?
I want my beautiful little "dream" girl with curly hair, but I don't know if I'm ready to give up my freedom!