Things to Come....

I've been inspired to make some changes in this new year...

1. When we first bought our house we had people over all the time and we prayed that our house would be a place where others felt comfortable and safe. Since having Amirah we have kind of become hobbits in our own little world. I want that to change. My new goal is to have someone over for dinner once each month. We've invited our first friend today.

2. I also want to continue to run. I'm just amazed at what my body can do. When I started to run/jog I could barely make it one minute at a time. Today I ran 8 minutes at a time. I actually ran more than I walked! My goal is to run a 5k in the spring.

3. This spring I am going to clean the basement. Ysmaille's going to help me. He doesn't know that yet. I cannot stand another year looking at the following: pajama bottoms, ceiling tiles, college textbooks, etc. The amount of stuff we have stored there is ridiculous. No more.

Ayiti, ou gen ke'm!

Haiti, you have my heart. I fell in love with this beautiful island almost the moment I set foot on it in May 2002. Within months I had also fallen in love with a beautiful island boy who stole my heart and wouldn't let go!

I can't even express how I feel about today- January 12, 2011. One year ago I sat in this same spot, so worried for family, wondering if they were okay, making phone call after phone call, watching the news, mesmerized at what one moment in time could do to my island. I saw the hotel where we got married. What once was a majestic, grandiose building standing on the side of a mountain was reduced to huge mounds of white and gray concrete. Ysmaille's parents' house, where we spent part of last summer, was now unlivable. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it-- still can't.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to forget about all our friends and family who are rebuilding, but it seems so far removed from us. It's almost like the needs are so overwhelming that instead of helping where we could we haven't really helped much at all...

He DELIGHTS in me!

Some would call my daughter strong-willed. I prefer to call Amirah spirited! Today was a beautiful day for Mommy and Amirah. She has been so happy and energetic. As I was playing with her today I pointed at her and she began giggling. She fell to her bottom and then on her back in anticipation of being tickled.

Amirah, my beautiful princess, makes me so happy. I delight in each new skill she learns. I love her passion for life. As we played I was reminded that God feels the way about me. He is delighted when I learn something new. He loves it when I am passionate about the people in my life. He DELIGHTS in me.

delight- (noun)- a high degree of pleasure and enjoyment; joy; rapture

Time

Time. It's such a precious resource and yet I use it so wastefully. Yes, there are moments when I know I'm using my time to make a difference-- when I take the time to call someone who's had a rough day, when I purposely smile at a stranger that looks sad, when I stop what I'm doing on the computer to chase Amirah around the living room and let her giggles fill my soul. I don't do it enough though. I also use precious time to mindlessly google things. I use precious time to dwell on how someone offended me. I use precious time to watch TV, even when it's not that interesting.

Two days ago a friend of mine lost her life in a car accident, leaving behind a husband and three beautiful daughters. I try to imagine what life would have been like for Dad and his three girls if we had lost our mom, and I just can't do it. She didn't know it would be her last day. Never even entertained the possibility.

Today when I layed Amirah down for her nap she cried and cried. I listened to it for a few minutes and it didn't sound like she was settling. I went up to her room and scooped her up from her crib and began rocking her. Within minutes she was fast asleep. I breathed her in. She smelled a little like the bananas she had for breakfast and a bit like the formula she had spilled on her pajamas, but you know what? It was perfect! She smelled like life. Like she had been living. Sometimes when I'm experiencing a beautiful moment like the one where my baby girl falls asleep in my arms, I purposely stop and breathe in the moment, and like Mary I treasure it in my heart. Life is bound to get tough and I may need that beautiful moment to get me through a rough patch.

My time will not be wasted today! It's just too precious!

lots of random thoughts tonight

• loved hanging out with my sisters. we don't do it enough and i love it when i do. they get me. no pretenses. just me. plus, we are so funny when we are together!
• my eyes have been getting "gooky" at night. not sure why. need to look into that.
• did we water the christmas tree tonight? or the night before? need to look into that, too.
• i really need to go to bed. do you think ysmaille meant it when he said he would let me sleep in and take the baby tomorrow morning? i really hope so.

Thanksgiving...

I love lists. I am thankful. Let's combine the two...

I am thankful for:
1. My relationship with Jesus Christ. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I don't always spend enough time with him, but I sense his presence with me and know that He is sustaining me.
2. My husband, Ysmaille. I often take him for granted, but his love and grace for me is beautiful and I feel blessed to be his wife. No one gets me like he does.
3. My daughter. Each morning as I pick her up out of her crib each morning my heart is overwhelmed for this little person who came from me.
4. My parents. What a wonderful heritage I come from. They have always been supportive of my dreams, while still keeping me grounded.
5. My sisters. I feel sad for any girl who doesn't have sisters. Not only do I have two people that I can call on to borrow a necklace, bracelet, or scarf, but I have two people who understand the very core of who I am. We came from the same place. We shared the same childhood.
6. My diverse group of friends. My friends include teachers and performers. My friends include working moms and stay at home moms. My friends include singles and woman who have been married for decades.
7. My job. I sometimes don't look at my job as a blessing, but it truly is. I am making a difference in the lives of children. I can be creative. It allows me to help pay the bills and gives me good health insurance.
8. My house. I don't mind that it's only two bedrooms and there isn't a ton of room when friends come over. It's mine. It is filled with the treasures that fill my soul-- the bright colors, the Haitian pottery, the paintings, the furniture. I love it all!
9. My health. I have recently started an exercise program. I am amazed that in two weeks time I have already made progress.
10. My church. I am encouraged and challenged each week there. I have friendships there. It's a beautiful place to be.

I am truly a blessed woman!

Time to Start Again...

It's that time again. Time to start. Again. Over the years I have started various exercise and diet routines. I have had a few flops, but many successes as well. About four years ago I lost 20 lbs. and have managed to keep the pounds off. I gained only 24 lbs. during my pregnancy. I am proud of those healthy lifestyle feats. It's time again. I have noticed since having Amirah that I am becoming increasingly flabby. I think I look okay with clothes on, but with clothes off I am shaky, jiggly, puckery. You get the point.

Yesterday I started the "Couch potato to 5K" program. Basically you start out by running 60 seconds, walking 90 seconds,60, 90, 60, 90, etc. for 20 minutes. I was actually scared to start. I know that I am really out of shape. Ysmaille was there behind me (with Amirah in the stroller) encouraging me. There was lots of huffing and puffing. I know. I know. Only 60 seconds at a time, but did I mention I am out of shape?

I am raising my glass and toasting to my future as a more in shape woman!